JOSEPH WHELAN: (BROTHER)

When I lost my father in 2000 I felt like my world had fallen apart. He was 69 years of age when he died of Alzheimer’s. It took a lot for me to get on with my life, but nothing could prepare me for the tragic loss of my brother.

Brendan was someone I could always talk to, someone who would always be there for you. When we went out drinking together he use to wind me up terribly. The night he died he came over to see us. He wanted my son to register his phone on the internet for him. I was lying on the sofa watching television. He had been in the pub and had a few drinks on him. He came into the sitting room and through his arms around me. Then sat on the arm chair across from me and stared over at me. I know he was messing with me as he always did, so I kept my eyes on the television. He told me he was sorry for winding me up all the time. I looked him in the eyes and I could see something, just didn’t know what. Little did I know that this apology was my baby brother saying goodbye.

I haven’t been able to deal with his death and I don’t think I ever will. Just looking at my mother breaks my heart. I’d get so mad sometimes when he’d wind me up, but I would give anything to have him back annoying me again. I have a whole in my heart that I will never fill, and a pain that will never go away. I just wish he was back with us so I could hug him and tell him how much I love him.

ANGELA WHELAN: (MOTHER)

A whisper one January day, you heard a gentle call, you took the hand of Jesus and quietly left us all. You never said goodbye Brendan, perhaps its just as well, how could I say goodbye to a son I love so well. My first year without you, the saddest I have known. I treasure every thought of you, especially when I'm alone. Although I cannot see you, you're here with me night and day, the love we shared together will never go away. My pain and tears I try to hide of a heart that is broken deep inside.

I love you always son and will never forget you. I would like to give a special thank you to Richard and Barbra from Dochas who helped and supported our family at the time of our great loss. They will forever be in our hearts.

ANTHONY WHELAN: (NEPHEW)

You hear about people tragically dying all the time and think it will never happen to you, your family or friends. I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, and I pray for the people who have to go through it.

My whole life I have looked up to Messer. He was just nine years old when I was born so he could always relate to me, like he did with all of his nephews and nieces. We had our fights like every family members do, but we where always big enough to put it to one side and support each other. Our baby uncle we called him as he was the last born on my father’s side.

The 19^th of January 2005 is a day that will haunt me for the rest of my life. The day part of me died. The day my family and I lost a precious family member. I was sitting in the room at 6:35pm when my cousin Stephen rang me to tell me that my uncle Messer had fallen from the flats. My heart stopped and I dropped my phone. I couldn’t believe what I had heard. I told my sister and mother and rang my father who was out at the time. The family met at my grandmother’s house, as we had been told my uncle had been taken to the hospital. I went to the hospital with my dad in the car. We both cried the whole way.

When we got to the hospital other family members where there. We had been told that the doctors where operating on him and where shown to the family room. We all knew he wasn’t going to make it, but we prayed for him to live. A nurse came and asked for my father as he was the eldest, and my father said he wanted his two brothers with him. The Doctors told them they did all they could, but Messer had died due to severe head injuries. We where all so devastated by the news and cried as we went in to say goodbye. As I looked at his remains on the hospital bed I became weak and lost the power in my legs. I couldn’t believe he was gone from my life, that my baby uncle had died. We went back to my grandmothers to tell her and the rest of the family the bad news. It was heartbreaking.

During the course of the funeral the support we received from our friends was unbelievable, and I wish to thank everyone of them from the bottom of my heart for all the help. We still to this day cannot believe he is gone. It is not something we will ever get over. He was the heart and soul of our family. At the time I’m not sure he, or we knew it. But we know it now, because everyday since the day he died has been empty and impossible to fill.

I love you so much Messer and I wish you where here with us, because our world has been torn apart without you. You never know what you have until it’s gone. How special someone is to you. If you feel depressed then please tell someone and let them help you, because I pray no one has to go through the pain and the heartache that we have suffered. I will never forget you Messer, you will always be deep in my heart.

SARAH WHELAN: (NIECE)

Messer was always the uncle I was really proud to have. Because he wasn’t much older than us, he would always mess with the lot of us. Even our friends got on well with him, and that made me proud to have him as my uncle.

The day he died was the day that I will never forget, and will never get over. Messer was in my house on the 19^th of January 2005 when I got home from work. He was messing about with my mother and father. He had a few drinks on him, he kept talking about my granddad and the things he use to do. He went into talk to my dad in the sitting room for a few minutes. Then came out to the kitchen to my mother and myself. He told my mother that she was the best sister in law that he had, and said he was going home. So he kissed me and off he went.

When I found out that my uncle had fallen from the flats, I was in a panic and prayed he would be ok. But then I had found out he had died, and my world just fell apart. I wish he had talked to us earlier that night when he was in our house, and told us how he was feeling so we could have tried to help him.  But he didn’t and we have to go on without him, which is the hardest thing to do.

I really hope that people reading this, please think of their family and friends first and the pain you would put them through. Because my pain is so deep, I feel like part of my heart had been torn out the day Messer died, and I will never get it back. I love my uncle so much, and miss him more and more each day, and I would give anything to have him back.